Slowing Down

I wish I could I say I was busy, hence the lack of posts. I really do, but reality doesn't quite come close. I'm working at a vinyl shop now on minimal wage and it has been a fulfilling time to indulge in some free time, get back to what I like and generally take things step by step. I haven't felt peaceful in a long time, but things are rearing its ugly head again. 

Minimal wage means minimal spending and I can't afford luxury and even had to cut down some things I wouldn't have blinked twice on spending on previously. And as much as I had hoped I would get bumped up to a full time post at work, things aren't looking up, so it probably means I need to look for a job that pays much better. Being an adult means having to fork out money on alot more things and I still really wanna go to Japan next year.

I have't felt creative in awhile and even my cosplays are slowing down due to the shortage of funds, so I guess it's just time to get back to real life and start the hamster wheel of working at a regular job once again. 

I'll update soon, heck I've got alot of posts I've been wanting to post up, so just be patient and gimme some time to clear them kays?

Back Again

Image from the movie: The Place Promised In Our Early Days

Sorry for dropping off the face of the Earth for a few months. I'm not sure if anyone is gonna actually read my blog anymore but meh, whatever. 

Anyway, if anyone's actually curious bout what happened to me, I got the job at the PR agency I wanted a few posts back. Started out the first month fine and optimistic bout everything, but after awhile, things started grating on me. The colleagues were cold, I couldn't connect with anyone, the bosses were just existing to throw us work and disappear without any real direction. I was lost, confused and started hating anything and everything related to my job. 

So basic thing is, I switched jobs. My friend offered an opportunity to work at a vinyl store and I grabbed it. The money's tight because I'm on a part-timer's payroll, but the colleagues and boss are exceedingly nice and warm and caring, and I have flexibility in my schedule to do the things I want. I dunno how long this can keep up, but for now, I'm happier then I've been in a long long time. 

I know I can't remain this way forever, and I do have concerns bout how I will be able to last financially in the future with more financial responsibilities. However, in 2 years, this is the first real sense of peace I've had. 

I'm learning alot of things at work bout the turntables and vinyls, more than I ever thought I'd ever learn about them. I'm hoping dearly that I may get an opportunity to earn full time employment, so I need to work hard and prove my worth. 

I'm still uncertain about what the future may bring as things haven't gone as I had planned years ago. But, I'm just glad I'm still here trying to feel my way around and learning more about myself along the way.

I have a great backlog of posts, so I'll slowly update them even if I'm just typing into a blog that no one bothers to read anymore. 

Re-evaluation

Things aren't turning out as I had hoped....

I really hope that it will get better soon....

In the mean time... here's my current ear worm:

And I'm looking forward to getting a new haircut, hairdye and perm since my hairdresser just came back from her trip back to Japan.

Baked Kit Kats

Ever since I started my diet, I haven't really eaten much sweets except for the occasional treat. But I couldn't resist when I chanced upon a shop selling the Japanese baked kit kats. 

The packaging, clearly showing the kit kats are meant to be baked

The cute individually wrapped kit kats. At 64 kcal each, its a treat I can live with once in awhile.

Though it's much smaller then I expected. It's only half the length of my second finger and I don't exactly have long fingers mind you.

Nice and toasty in my toaster oven. Supposedly the kit kats work only in toaster ovens, not the larger convectional ovens as the heat is too intense.

The kit kats melted down and got stuck to the aluminium foil so I had to slowly peel them off. The packaging says to toast it for about 3 minutes, but it didn't get the caramelised effect I wanted, so I left it for an additional 3 minutes. 

End result!! It was warm and had the lovely caramelised sugar taste of creme brulee, which probably explains the pudding flavour. The inner wafer was still crisp but there was a slight amount of melted gooey-ness from the white chocolate. Super addictve, I'm glad it takes time to slowly toast them otherwise I'd probably finish the entire bag in a single seating.

In other news, I got the job I wanted! I just finished my first week there and the company is really ultra small, like less then 10 people. Good news is, its an express route to learning new things, bad news, I'll probably be doing ALOT of things and might have some late nights. I'm trying to tell myself to just be strong and learn everything I can even if it means working late.

The sucky thing is, I just feel bit unwanted by the colleagues there. They're mega tight together to the point where they have each other on Facebook and Instagram and stuff, so I feel super awkward and out of place right now. I don't even have a chance to enter their conversations because everything is so personal and it sucks when they keep harping bout missing their ex-colleague, the one I replaced. 

The bf says I'm thinking too much and some friends are telling me to just give it time. I guess I just need to steel myself and tell myself to make things work as it's getting really tiring for me and bad for my career to keep jumping jobs. It's do or die now. I need to make it wok whether I like it or not.

Hair Do, Pigging Out and Popping Pills

Nothing much has been happening to me lately besides waking up, surfing the net, catching up with friends, packing up my room and finding a new job. So pardon the lack of posts though i really ought to get a move on review posts since I did get a few new items lately. I might also do a gets post, since I did make some big ticket purchases from last year till now but we'll see how it goes.

I did get a new haircut, hair dye and perm done fairly recently back at Kizuki+LIM. I'm too deeply in love with the ambience of the salon and the skilled hands of my cheerful hairstylist. 

Dyed my hair back to a darker to brown to reduce damage and also because my hair was starting to become multi-coloured once again. I also did a slight body perm, not enough to give me curls like before but enough to create a slight bounce and airy feel to my hair without trying. I must say that the strawberry tea that they serve is really soothing in a nice floral way, something about the place always makes me feel relaxed and drowsy much to my hairstylists's amusement.

I was also holed up at home partly because I came down with a bad case of flu. I was given a battery-load of medicines to take but at least it's nearly over, I just have alittle cough now, and the medicine has helped to calm my eczema down, which is a pretty good bonus. Though for the first 2 days, I was so drugged up I couldn't even make out what I was watching on the tv.

To cheer me up after my illness, the bf brought me out for a lovely brunch at a cafe called Tea Dot. I had yummy scrambled eggs on buttered toast and a grilled portobello mushroom, while the bf satisfied his meat craving with some bangers & mash. Shared a lemon meringue tart and had some bitter tea which helped soothe the throat. I also pigged out on a seriously awesome burger and truffle fries with some friends before I had my hair session, I could use a bag full of those amazing truffle fries now but I'll be patient and wait till my throat gets better first.

On the job front, I've been taking it slow and easy instead of making my past mistakes of whoring myself out and readily accepting any job that came my way. I've scaled back and applied for jobs in industries I feel that I have an interest in and as much as it pains me, I've decided to try entry-level jobs with the PR industry, which means a pay cut but also streamlining my job scope and role and responsibilities so that I needn't run around like a headless chicken wondering what the hell I'm doing. 

I've got a second interview with a PR agency tomorrow and I'm really crossing my fingers and hoping things will work out this time. So let's just see how things go.

Snip Snip!

Sometimes I get utterly terrible days plagued with terrible situations, and sometimes, I randomly get the most amazing luck to counter-balance the bad.

I was having a rough day at work when I decided to meet the Bf on a whim, was browsing at the nearby Kinokuniya shop when I was spotted by Tomoko. That was how I became an accidental hair model/ willing victim for Tomoko to practise her hairdressing skills on. It was only much later did I realise she worked for the amazing hair salon, Kizuki+LIM.

After letting her go wild on my hair, I walked out feeling happier than most other salons I've been to, and with great hair that has lasted. Unfortunately, I didn't take many pics of the place, and though I wasn't asked to review the salon, I enjoyed myself so much that I just gotta write about it!  

I got lost finding the salon, but that's probably because I hardly ever explore Raffles Hotel without good reason

(Pic from : http://haze-lk.blogspot.sg/2013/10/throwback-on-me-and-my-friends-haircut.html)

Super cool architecture! Different areas of the salon were separated by these geometric shaped "walls"/ pathways

(Pic from: http://www.designboom.com/architecture/teruhiro-yanagihara-kizuki-lim-salon-singapore/)

Their reception counter and the place where they stowed my bag before my haircut

(Pic from: http://singapooo.exblog.jp/16793515)

Their washing area with super comfortable automated reclining seats. It's really great for me as due to my short stature, I usually end up shuffling myself awkwardly on those flat chairs for my head to reach the sink. With these chairs, I no longer need to look like a earthworm on drugs and am able to maintain my dignity

(Pic from: http://jrunway.com/great-experience-at-kizuki-lim-salon/)

The area where I got my hair cut and styled. The chairs are movable and so is the wall, allowing the staff to play around with the floor space depending on their clients

(Pic from: http://singapooo.exblog.jp/16793515)

Waiting for my haircut! As you can see, my hair looked rather heavy and old-fashioned with the thick, grown out perm.

Haircut after I reached home and being pummelled by strong winds. Still looked good!

Managed to take a pic with the lovely Tomoko! Thank you so much for the haircut!

My hair has remained rather low maintenance and looks good styled or not and even looks decent if I go to bed with my hair still wet from my shower. People have been complimenting my haircut and even the Bf says it looks good, which is rare since he hardly mentions much bout my hairstyles. 

Will definitely return, as a paying customer the next time. 

On a side note, I left my last job. Things weren't working out so I'm looking for another. It sucks quite abit and I'm hoping my next job will work out, but at least the experience has helped me open potential new career options. Lets see how things go in the future I guess.

Teatime with Steph

Steph and I met up the day before to catch up, we also had high tea at Antoinette. We shared the afternoon special set, it wasn't cheap but having been there before, I knew that it would be well worth the price and I was right. They gave us 3 tiers worth of goodness, a mixture of sweet and savoury buttery pastries for the bottom, savouries for the middle and tiny sweets at the top that were packed with flavour. I left the place stuffed to the brim. 

It's hard to pick any favourites as they were all so so good!

Accompanied with tea to wash everything down. Mine was Porcelain Rose while Steph had Earl Gray

While we were there, these 2 ladies of leisure who were sitting at the table next to us, asked if they could take pictures with us. It was totally surprising and extremely flattering.

Outfit:

Dress: Jouetie

Garter leggings: DollsKill

Wig: Taobao

Floral headband: Taobao

Flower Princess and her super fashionably decked out bodyguard hahahahha

Been itching to wear my black lipstick out on a normal day. Its an Anna Sui Limited Edition that I had bought for cosplay ages ago. I also placed my blush right below my eyes and above my cheekbones.

Did some window shopping and I spotted a lipgloss that I will probably get next month. I did go home with these babies though:

Leather engineer boots from Payless to replace my previous pair that had crumbled away. Hoping it'll be as comfortable as my old pair so that I will be able to use it for travelling and stuff. 

Been focusing on work as I really wanna be converted to permanent staff soon, I do mess up occasionally but I'm really crossing my fingers and hoping they'll just give me a chance. If they do, I'll be able to save up for more cosplays and a trip to Japan. So praying really hard!

Shu Uemura x Takashi Murakami Job

Hey guys, there's been some changes in my life that's happened during the past couple of weeks, hence the lack of posts. Firstly, I attended Steph's birthday party, and it was a small but cozy affair with lots of chatting, drinks and eventually winding up at a karaoke place. 

The next week, I did a one-day job stint with Shu Uemura to promote their new Christmas/ Takashi Murakami special. I had to dress in Lolita and Cosplay for the job, and most of the time I abhor these kinds of jobs as I personally find it insulting to use Cosplayers and Lolitas as cheap gimmicks to promote products. However, I did it as a favour for an old friend and ex-colleague from my Shu Uemura days and the products are related since the new collection is very anime based.

 Picture of the huge Light box mural at the store counter. It's actually one model but she looks so amazingly different with the contrasting makeup styles.

  

 The display stand. The makeup palettes are missing as the counter staff was using it on a product demonstration as I was snapping this picture.

Me, on my way to the job location and waiting for the train to arrive. It was actually my first time wearing Sweet Lolita as I used to wear Gothic but never sweet, though I've always admired the style from afar. Everything was generously loaned to me from my friend, Jean.

The rest of the Lolita girls for the day, from left, Kairi, me, Daphne (she cosplayed as Tinkerbell in my Disney Princess team) and Jean (my fellow team member of my Claymore group)

Outfit shot with Jean! Really really grateful to her for loaning me the entire outfit, she wanted to loan me stockings and shoes too but I rejected because I didn't want to dirty or scuff the shoes and stockings are really fragile.

Ribbon Headband: Baby The Stars Shine Bright

Dress: Angelic Pretty

Necklace: Angelic Pretty

Stockings (my own): Grimoire Verum

Shoes (my own): Taobao

Wig: Taobao

Unfortunately, Jean had to leave for Church service so I switched out to my Persona 4, Rise Kujikawa costume instead. One shopkeeper said I looked really cute XD 

With sweet Jean, she looks different as a Lolita, cosplayer and in casual wear. Different but all good in their own way.

With Kairi, who's also a cosplayer. It was my first time meeting her as we had never crossed paths during events before, so it was fun chatting and getting to know her

 

Changed out after a grueling 5 hours standing in our costumes and dresses, facing the terrible heat and humidity and some unwarranted comments from the general public (seriously, it's just clothes, chill  out!). I knew my hair would be a terrible mess if I took off my wig, so I decided to just head home whilst wearing it.

Lace top: This Fashion

Lace shorts: Lowry's farm

 

By the end of the day the promotional song for the collection was stuck in my head. No surprises since it's quite catachy and sung by Hatsune Miku. I also found out that it is actually a legitimate anime directed by Takashi Murakami called, 6 Heart Princesses. The group of us were challenging each other to watch the anime and actually cosplay the costumes shown in the video after we found out.

Anyway, like I mentioned earlier, some changes have occured in my life. For one, I've found a new job for a Japanese hair products company. The job scope is fairly different from my earlier jobs so I'll be learning quite alot of things, it's also my first foray into the world of media advertising. I'm also now working with best friend and sister from another mother, Steph. Yup! We're in the same company and driving each other nuts on a daily basis, though it has its own set of challenges. I'm looking forward to learning new things and getting to annoy Steph everyday, so till next time!

P.S. My new header and background are all thanks to Steph's ingenious creativity and willingness to slave away for me muahahahah! Thanks alot. 

Moving On for the Better

I know I haven't updated for a long while and to be honest, I don't know how many of you are actually regular readers of my blog anymore. If you've stuck around from awhile back, you've probably seen me transform from gyaru style to now occasionally dabbling in Cult Party, Mori, Dolly etc. and picking up Cosplay as a regular hobby.

I've also grown from a polytechnic student, to completing University and obtaining a degree to now gingerly stepping out into the working world. Unfortunately, things haven't quite worked out the way I had planned. I started out as a wide-eyed fresh graduate, full of confidence and optimism, and eager to learn as much as I could from my first job. It took me longer then I had hoped to land a decent job, and I was starting to get frustrated when I saw many of my University friends scoring jobs like it was the easiest thing ever. I jumped on the first job that accepted me, and it turned out to be 3 months of horror. I had no goals, no clue what I was doing as my job scope changed each month, given KPIs (Key Point Indicators) that were ridiculously high and my boss's moods changed constantly. Looking back, I realised my boss made a lot of crude, sexist remarks too. After I gave my resignation letter, I was unceremoniously kicked out of the company 2 weeks before my supposed last day when I came to work only to find my computer password had been locked and my company cards were removed from my stationary drawer (which means he went through my things).

I held my head high, took my last pay check and decided to search for something with better prospects. After throwing myself into job interviews, within a month I managed to find myself another job. I learnt a lot as I had a strict boss who had pretty high standards, so everything was learn fast or die. I taught myself to get around problems I had and my colleagues did help me out a lot whenever I was stuck. However, despite the profits we were making, my department was small, it was alright initially and I enjoyed my work despite fumbling occasionally. 

However, things changed. I had a new director and I was initially very optimistic. New administration and sales people were brought in to achieve higher targets, but I was still kept as a one-man marketing team. I requested for help but my request was only met with laughter as they considered that I alone was capable enough. Soon, all the sales people were coming to me with requests to produce more marketing materials with shorter timeframes. I was designing, writing, handling the department website, dealing with media, marketing new courses, helping the sales team achieve their targets etc. and it was alright initially. But soon, my director started giving me other departments work, I couldn't really reject them as he was big boss after all. But soon, it became unbearable, I had 3 superiors, all giving me different duties, each insisting their work was more important than the other. I was so busy and tired trying to finish them that I couldn't squeeze my brain for any form of creativity to produce new ideas to push the department further. I started having insomnia, and could only sleep 3-5 hours a night.

I was constantly tired, my face started having lots of pimples and I lost interest in most things. I was constantly angry and frustrated at everything and everyone, and I couldn't do shoots properly. I knew what this job was doing to me but I wanted to stay on, I wanted to complete at least a year so that I wouldn't look like a job-hopper in my resume. However, a simple visit to my doctor for my eczema meds ended up with me bawling my eyes out and my doctor diagnosing me with depression. He told me that naturally the best solution was to leave, but I was still adamant about staying as I was in the middle of several projects and didn't want the burden to be dumped on my other colleagues. I decided to persevere on, but the straw that broke the camel's back was when my director sat me down in his office and gave me an incredibly negative performance review. He listed many faults, some that I admit to, but some were completely unfair such as claiming people felt that I was unfriendly and showed attitude and that I was slow in my work (despite knowing that I had 3 departments worth of worked dumped onto me), that if I complained about the workload, why didn't I stay back to complete them (the company had a no over-time pay policy). I knew enough was enough, a few days later, I gave my resignation letter.

I thought I could slowly, finish up my duties and hopefully, train the new person who was taking my place. I was wrong. I was told my work attitude was poor and a lot of my colleagues started isolating me.

Soon enough, my last day came and went and now here I am, free from my suffocating job and hoping for a new future. I'm starting to mend my emotional and mental states and yesterday was the first day in months that I felt cheerful and happy. I'm still having some self-doubts and fighting the urge to feel like a failure, but I know that all these will just hold me down.

I wrote this post to not only explain why I haven't updated in awhile, but also as a form of self-release, to finally let out all the pent up frustrations and emotions I've been having for a long time. I'm on the mend and I know the road ahead probably will not be easy, but I'm starting to find the courage to face it once more.

I have many backlogs which I'm trying to complete now that I have the time to sit down and write, so please be patient with me. If you want faster updates, just head to my Instagram. In the mean time, I don't know how many people will read this and I know I'm opening myself to a lot of negative remarks but I still choose to write and post this as I don't want to hide myself behind a façade any more.

Music & Friends for the Weary Soul

Had a minor breakdown at work last week due to the built-up stress from having to manage so many things. Looking back now, I probably made a mountain out of a molehill but at that moment, I felt a huge weight pressing upon me.

Met up with darling Steph again to watch her performing with her band. Her band, Zefyr, was the only non-Japanese band among the line-up and the bar was packed with mostly Japanese people supporting their friends. It felt like an escape of sort, to hear an unfamiliar tongue rolling about as people laughed & chatted with each other.

The amazing Zefyr!! From left: Peter the guitarist, Alvin the drummer , Izu the vocalist, Steph as bassist and Si Wei as the other guitarist.

Zefyr performing on stage, too bad Peter isn't in this pic, he's probably at the other end of the stage

Other friends that day, Jared and Mio

Steph made a new friend, think his name is Masaki, quite a funny dude and his pictures are amazing!

Picture of all the other bands, at least the ones that stayed till the end. Was surprised to watch a high school band performing songs from English bands such as Red Hot Chili Peppers, they also had quite a few fangirls, probably schoolmates of theirs, watching them perform

Of course, I had to put in a picture of Steph performing

Camwhore while having a smoke break and waiting for her turn to perform, no idea what am I looking at LOL

Tried out a different style of makeup that day, I elongated instead of widening my eyes, also placed blush just on the top of my cheekbones and used a stronger coloured lipstick. Love my short wig, I'm always tempted to chop my hair short everytime I wear this wig, but it'll be a pain to style it the same way.

Super simple outfit:

Leopard beret: Accessorize

Shirt: Forever 21

Ripped Jeans: GoJane

Creepers: Taobao

Cross necklace: Taobao

Spiked bracelet: Bought in KL

Chain & leather bracelet: Taobao

There was free flow of food and drinks for the remaining people, didn't really eat much but I had a few glasses of beer and enjoyed this amazing whisky, paired it mostly with coke. Most of the guys were surprised that I enjoyed it :/ I do have quite a high tolerance for alcohol

The weekends fly by too fast now, and I need to get stuff prepared for my cosplay event in July, luckily it's just a simple headband hat should be ready within a few days

Personal Outfit (Cloth Shopping & Friends)

Went out with my friends Mini & Esther last Saturday for some cloth shopping and to spend some time with Esther before she heads off to USA for 3 months of study. I'll miss her alot especially when she won't be around for some upcoming cosplay events but I'm looking forward to teaming up with her again for other events.

Used the outing as a chance to wear my new clothes in the style I'm heading to, I think its rather mild but when we accidentally bumped into another cosplay friend, she thought I was heading for a fashion shoot or something.

Shirt: Rinka X Sweet

Skirt: Forever 21

Jacket: Jouetie

Lace trimmed striped socks: Daiso

Creepers: Taobao

Curled my hair and wore my fringe as bangs for the day. Also wore a few other accessories to spice up the outfit.

Circle sunglasses & choker: Taobao

 I'm busy trying to prep stuff for Cosfest and other solo plans, but I'm mostly stressed out over my job confirmation. I've been on probation since entering the company and with it ending, my confirmation is coming up. My manager assures me that I shouldn't really have to worry about it but its still nerve-wrecking to wonder if you're officially in the company or not. I pray everything goes well and if it isn't too much, I also hope I'll get a pay raise, because sometimes I feel I'm being kind of overworked for my pay grade.

Hopefully things go well for the rest of the year. In the mean time, I'm currently addicted to the anime/manga Shingeki no Kyojin, really brlliant and exciting, definitely worth checking out. 

Type 0 Group Shoot Aftermath

Last Sunday was the biggest cosplay shoot I had ever had! We had the entire Final Fantasy Type-0 class (all 14 of us), our Sensei, 8 assistants and 2 photographers, that makes 25 people all showing up for one shoot. It was so massive, we actually decided to charter a private bus, just to get the worry of having to fight for public transport off our mind and it helped greatly espeically when our shoot locations were pretty much in the middle of nowhere.

Type-0 class trip!!! Making our way to the shoot locations

Quick camwhore on the way there

Considering how much of an urbanised city Singapore is, it is extremely difficult to find empty plots of land without many skyscrapers or apartment buildings ruining the background. We were literally climbing up steep slopes and trudging through tall grass and weeds, in full costume with our props mind you. Not to mention, the weather was terribly unforgiving that day, but we persevered on and despite the extreme discomfort, we still managed to have plenty of fun throughout the shoot.

Selicia (cosing Machina) as always, ruining the images of bishie characters with her random antics. Here she is with her pants rolled up and trying to flap her top to try and cool herself down, and in the process amusing Mini (cosing as Eight) and Tsubaki (as Trey).

Finally remembered to bring my polaroid camera along with extra polaroids to camwhore with my class and sensei. Yay! Wait! I just realised my class isn't complete!! I forgot to take pictures with Nine argh!!!!

We're all waiting with bated breaths for the photographers to send to us the pictures and for our editing experts to touch them up nicely before releasing the pictures to the world, but in the mean time, here are some crack/omake and behind-the-scenes shots:

Class typ-0, the delinquent version. All of us looking gangsta (or in my case, ultra narcisstic), with our Sensei face palming us

One of the assistants took this shot of us as we were lining up for a back view shot with our flag. Yes, we even have the class flag LOL, talk bout dedication

Quick editing that our King (cosplayed by Rescend) did on the very same day. So this isn't the final result yet, but it already looks so awesome!!

I've changed my office wallpaper to this picture now, and I find it really motivating because it reminds me very much of the fun I had that day.

Considering how amazing our team is, we're planning to continue our Type-0 cosplay by potentially expanding it even further. We're currently discussing other possibilites such as doing the cloaks, or summer version of the school uniform or maybe even a reenactment of the video! Everything is still up in the air so we'll see how it goes. In the mean time, just sit back and wait for the resulting pictures of the shoot to be released soon enough.